I don’t mean to me personally (although I’ve read some really nasty reviews that make my brows raise and make me go “WTF?”) I am talking about the anonymous meanness exhibited on the internet in the form of comments left on newspaper articles, blogs and even Facebook. I’m sure you’ve seen it.
If our city paper runs an article on a tragic accident where a child dies, there’s people screaming the parents should be charged and put to death, and that the parents deserved it for not being glued to the child’s side every second of the day. Where’s the sympathy for the grieving family? Are people so morally bankrupt they think that’s okay?
A celebrity is caught cheating, and cruel jokes about the victimized spouse emerge about them not being good enough hence why the other had to stray. Really? Because the commenters obviously know first hand what’s going on in that relationship, fter all, it is so everybody’s business. Not!
Politicians do their double speak and nasty threats about what they’d like to do to them are rampant and gruesome. Sure, those in office lie, but still, are we that savage that those kind of violent remarks are acceptable? You don’t like who’s running your city/province/country? Then try voting instead.
The examples of intentional cruelty are staggering and everywhere. It’s appalling.
Don’t, get me wrong, I also see beautiful things on the internet, supportive messages for families dealing with loss or hardship, and a whole lot of love. But unfortunately, the rabid screaming a of a few, who seem to think the anonymity of the internet gives them the right to spill their vitriol, makes it unpleasant especially when you need to wade through so much of it to read the real comments left by people who still have moral values.
I’ve been on the internet a long, long time now, from back when I used a modem to dial in and I got a feeble connection to use an AltaVista search that took a while for a few hundred results. Years later, I’m still a huge internet fan, loving the ability to discover at the tip of my fingers. But the greater and wider spread the internet becomes, the more I’m seeing hate, and not just hate, but pointless, evil remarks against even the most innocent of things. Why? When did manners stop applying? When did it become alright to ridicule and even ridicule someone’s grief? I don’t care who you think you are, it’s never all right when you read an article about a child suiciding from bullying to read a remark saying the kids was a loser and did the right thing. WTF?! Seriously. What is wrong with these people?
I know it’s not something we can fix. Some people will always feel entitled to speak their mind whether what they say has any worth or not, with no regard for the feelings of others, and this is why I try so carefully to monitor my own children’s usage of the internet. Why I attempt at every turn to teach them to treat others like they want to be treated. To know that whenever they post something on line, it’s there forever, and there are always consequences to their words and actions.
Unfortunately, there seem to be thousands of people out there who never had a parent or guardian or even a friend who cared enough to teach them right from wrong. That’s so sad. I’m sure some of those same bullies will read this and have some choice words for me just proving my point. Will it make them feel happier for doing it? Maybe, because for them, causing someone misery gives them pleasure. I wonders how they’d feel if the tide turned and the crap they liked to spread comes back to cover them. One can only hope.
Have you seen the cyber bullying and meanness? Have you ever had it directed at you? How do you deal with it? Me, I hit delete, but I’m worried about my kids. Especially my oldest. She’s at that fragile time in her life where every word has meaning, whether true or not. I need to protect her self esteem, but how do I do that without curtailing all her internet privileges? Is it even possible anymore to protect our children without taking away the very technology that makes todays world so interesting?
A worried mom wants to know.
@Wendy, Lisa and Barb thanks for taking the time to comment. I hate that this is a sign of our times. Why can’t society ever devolve in a direction that’s not hurtful? Grrrrr.
@Donald, my wordpress program has a spam filter plug in that seems to eliminate all the spam.
i read your blog often and i personal an analogous one and i was just questioning should you get loads of spam feedback? If so how do you forestall it, any plugin or something you can advise? I get so much these days it’s driving me mad so any assistance could be very a lot appreciated.
It’s a sign of the times. The internet as made it easy to hide behind a wall and say things that hurt. Don’t give them that power by letting them know they hurt you. My mom told me that. I’m italian and the first time someone called me a wop well, I really didnt know what it mean’t, but I did know it wasn’t said to be nice. And the more I tried to yell or fight the more power I not only gave that person I also gave that word. So I just stopped. And when I stopped that and that person wasn’t getting the reaction from me that they wanted. She stopped. Words only have power when we give them power. Cruel people who write cruel blogs that keep getting hits will continue to write them until people stop going to them and stop talking about them and stop giving them attention. Just like T.V if you don’t like a show don’t ask the network to take it off. Just don’t watch it. YOU have that power. Use it. Don’t expect others to. Oh and by the way in case theres anyone who may not know W.O.P stands for is With Out Papers. Not really a bad thing. Just a thing. oh one more thing mama told me “Never let them see you cry…Always walk away if you can, but if there ever comes a time when you can’t, never throw the first punch, after that make sure they don’t get back up”. I miss her.
You are so right about the loss of civility on the internet. Unfortuantely, anonymity is a bad thing in this case. It would be difficult to have children going through cyber bullying in addition to the good old fashioned bullying going on. This type of behavior is one of the reasons I have no interest in Twitter, Facebook, and the whole social media thing.
Unfortunately, the people (and I use that term loosely) that your words should influence, glory in their abject despicability. They wallow in their ability to hurt and traumatize, and if you think to touch their humanity. There is little if any to touch. It is a sad fact there is a growing number of vicious techies out in world just waiting to release their venom on anyone in range.