I think jealousy is romantic to a certain extent and I know many will disagree, but jealousy is such a powerful emotion, one that just about everyone feels at one time or another. In the wrong hands, it can cause extreme envy and avarice. In the right hands, it can make a stupid man(or woman) realize what’s sitting right under their very nose and cherish it all the more.
Personally, I like to see my hubby in the grips of the green eyed monster every once in a while. Not that it happens often when you’ve been married over 12 years, but the rare occasions it does, I am filled with a guilty pleasure. Might I even say, a certain erotic delight.
I like knowing that my hubby doesn’t want to share me. That he considers me, “his”. It makes me feel desirable and loved. And do I feel the same in return? Damned straight. Knowing other women desire him is a source of pride, even if it drives me insane. Do I like it? No, but we both tend to reap the benefits because it usually means when we get home I tear off his clothes and remind him of why I’m so special. And lucky me, he reminds me right back.
However, my enjoyment of his covetous nature does have boundaries. For example, I would never condone him attacking someone who complimented me, or to verbally or physically abuse me because he cannot handle his emotions. Some lines should never be crossed. But, grabbing me close to give me a deep kiss, maybe squeezing my ass in plain public thus reaffirming my taken status? Totally acceptable. Even encouraged.
Jealousy is a normal emotion, a strong one at times, that can rouse feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. Many couples have suffered at one time or another from the angst of the green eyed monster. In some cases, it can unfortunately devolve into unhealthy accusations, and violence. Hitting your partner because you can’t handle your emotions is not acceptable under any circumstances. Jealousy should never be used as an excuse to hurt the one you love, to make nasty, unfounded accusations or to do anything that requires extreme forgiveness or a restraining order. If you are truly in love, truly a couple, then trust should be stronger than jealousy. Belief in your partner and their affection for you should be all the reassurance you need. If not, then seek counseling, but never, ever hurt each other. Some acts and words can never be erased.
But let’s move past unhealthy jealousy onto the non-dysfunctional kind because jealousy, after all, comes in many forms and not all of them are evil or painful. The one I’m familiar with is the kind that arises within a couple where one fears losing the other to someone who might offer more–is she prettier, younger, sexier? In my world, that type of insecure jealousy is resolved simply by my better half–my dear hubby–showing with words and actions–the erotic kind–just how much I am loved and cherished for just being me. It can provide a reaffirmation of their bond to each other.
That’s one type, then there’s the jealousy that arises when you see someone that has something you don’t have, but suddenly realize you want. Examples would be where acquaintances for years suddenly realize their friend is someone worth having. It happens when two coworkers start dating and you fantasize about being in their place. It’s your BFF’s big brother never seeing you as more than a sister until one day he realizes you’re all grown up but with someone else.
However, what happens when the one you want is in a relationship and happy? What happens if the one you covet wants you in return–but also wants to keep their other lover? What does it take to shed inhibitions and pride to be with the one you desire? To share a home and a bed with third person all for the sake of loving someone?
I don’t know if I could ever go that far. Even the very idea of someone else touching my hubby drives me insane with jealousy. But, while I don’t feel a need to explore a threesome in my own world, I do explore it in my soon-to-be released book Jealous and Freakn’, coming out November 20th.
In the story, Mitchell’s been avoiding Francine, his sister’s BFF, for years because Francine totally thinks they’re meant to be together. Everything changes when Mitchell sees Francine getting involved with another man. But when she refuses to give Alejandro up, can Mitchell get past his jealousy to become a threesome with the woman he loves? Oh, and to add a little fun to the mix, did I mention they’re all shapeshifters?!
Steamy action, jealous antics and more abound in this stand alone sequel to Delicate Freakn’ Flower. For an excerpt and more, click the Books link. Also keep an eye out in the blogsphere because there are going to be numerous giveaways for a copy of my latest book in the Freakn’ Shifters series.
I do hope you enjoy, and remember, the next time the little green eyed monster plays you a visit, use it as an opportunity to show the one you love just how much you love them. Naked of course 