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My Boyfriend Bites

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Book Cover: My Boyfriend Bites
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Part of the A Moonstruck Mating series:
  • My Girlfriend is a Werewolf
  • My Boyfriend Marks Trees
  • My Boyfriend Bites
  • A Moonstruck Mating Books 1 – 3

She’s not the only one who likes to nibble.


Selene’s spent her entire life keeping her emotions in check to avoid wolfing out in public. She’s single, but not by choice. Not many men can handle a woman who turns furry on the full moon—and every time her adrenaline gets pumping. She’s just about given up on love when she meets Dante.

The insufferable man is on the same cruise as her and, for some reason, pursues her. As if she’d ever date a womanizer. Despite her issues with keeping her lycan side leashed, Selene is holding out for love with a nice guy, not some rich Italian playboy with suits that cost more than her entire wardrobe. However, Dante is tenacious, and when pirates board the ship, he proves to be more courageous than expected.

Those scurvy scoundrels chose the wrong Valentine’s Day party to crash, and as the bodies begin to pile up, it soon becomes obvious that the ferocious Selene isn’t the only one chomping on bad guys.

Here’s to hoping by the time the cruise ends, Cupid gives her the one thing she’s been longing for; a lover who won’t mind if she growls—and bites—in bed.

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Published: 2025-02-06
Cover Artists:
Atra Luna's Book Cover and Logo Art
Genres:
Holiday Romance, Holiday Romance, Paranormal Romance, Romantic Comedy, Shapeshifter Romance, vampire romance, werewolf romance
Tags:
english
Excerpt:

Chapter 1

To-Do Day 1: Get to the airport. Remember to go potty before the flight. And don’t wolf out on the plane, even if the person beside you manspreads.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else? I think you forgot to pack the kitchen sink.” Selene’s brother, Ares, teased as he lugged her overstuffed carry-on roller to the curb at the airport departures drop-off area.

“You’re the one making me go,” she grumbled.

A year and a bit after a holiday trip found itself cancelled due to inclement weather, Selene was finally going on her cruise—minus her mother. Not her choice. She liked hanging with her mom, but apparently, as a new grandma, her mom had a duty to spoil. Selene argued an aunt had the same right; however, her family insisted she go and booked her into an adults-only voyage that coincided with Valentine’s Day.

“It will be romantic,” big sis, Athena, claimed.

READ MORE

As if Selene needed help getting laid. Men hit on her all the time, but Selene had a secret, a big hairy one, that tended to poke its nose out when she got aroused, making it almost impossible for anyone to get close.

Mom kept saying one day Selene would meet “the one,” and she’d know. She sure hoped so because she was beginning to feel like a third wheel every time she hung out with her siblings, who’d both found their perfect mate.

“This will be good for you. You’ve been spending way too much time cooped up on the farm,” Ares stated, not for the first time.

Apparently, her family noticed she’d been going out less and less. Not her fault. She’d been finding it harder of late to keep the positive attitude that kept her wolf inside her skin.

“Not true. I went into the city just last week.”

“To pick up some supplies for your rabbits. A trip to the store and back isn’t going out.” Ares shook his head.

He probably had a point, but Selene wouldn’t admit it. “I’ll miss you, guys.” Her family was her entire world. She lived on the farm with her mom and brother, as well as his new wife and daughter, whom he’d adopted. Her sister, Athena, visited often with her hubby, Derek, along with their little bundle of joy, Apollo, a chubby-faced baby with a dark tuft of hair.

“We’ll miss you too. And don’t worry, we’ll text you every day.”

“To harass me and make sure I’m socializing,” she grumbled.

“Yup.” He didn’t even deny it. He dragged her in for a hug, and her eyes misted. She’d never traveled alone before. Never actually travelled, truth be told. But she could do this. People boarded planes and went on cruises all the time.

It would be fine.

She hoped.

The plane to Orlando took just under four hours, and lucky her, the guy beside her slept the entire time and kept his limbs to himself. Once she collected her luggage, she boarded a shuttle bus the cruise provided, which brought them to port just before sunset. The ship wouldn’t be sailing until seven, a late departure compared to most itineraries. She wondered if it had to do with the recent rumor about another cruise line. According to social media, a ship with more than a thousand souls had run into pirates.

Actual pirates! The miscreants were said to have not only robbed the passengers, but they’d supposedly killed a few, too. Or so it was assumed, since the ship appeared to be missing some people when it docked, including the captain.

True? Hard to know since the news media outlets didn’t appear to be carrying the story. It didn’t deter Selene, though. After all, in the books she read, pirates could be dashing heroes who swept a woman off her feet. And if it turned out to be the other kind… He’d soon regret his life choices when her wolf bit off a body part.

As she stood in line with her luggage, doing that slow shuffle as each person in front of her fumbled to put all their items on the security belt, it struck her that most of the passengers milling about were her mom’s age. Or, in other words, more than twice Selene’s. That didn’t bode well, especially since she noticed the elderly couple standing behind had pineapples and unicorns plastered all over their carry-ons. Nervous for her first single’s cruise, she’d done her research ahead of time and learned that there were ways people advertised what they were looking for in a potential hookup. The pineapple and unicorn specifically indicated the over-sixties pair sought a female to join them for adult fun. When they smiled at Selene and asked if she’d like to meet them for a drink that evening, she politely declined. Yikes. Was this a cruise for older swingers?

Maybe she’d just stay in her room with a book and order in food. Of course, the moment she thought it she remembered her mother’s rebuke, “Don’t you dare hermit yourself on board! This is your chance to let loose. Go a little wild.”

Mom meant well, but she had no idea that if Selene went wild, people might get hurt. Then again, Mom didn’t know how bad the problem had gotten. Selene’s control over her lycan side had gotten worse in the past few years, but she’d kept it to herself, not wanting to worry her family.

As she hefted her roller bag up for screening and placed her purse and shoes in a bin, she noticed a pair of large German shepherds sniffing people and their bags. Drug dogs. She didn’t have any narcotics but, given her lycan heritage, wasn’t surprised when she stepped through the metal detector and was met by the dogs barking in her direction. Even worse, one of the canines broke loose and ran at Selene, snarling and snapping.

As the dog neared, Selene crouched and met its gaze with a firm one of her own. It skidded in surprise, trying to halt its momentum before dropping to its belly. It crawled forward, whining, and Selene cooed, “Who’s a pretty puppy?”

The shepherd rolled to its back and lolled its tongue.

The dog’s handler snared the leash but, rather than thinking the belly rubs were cute, snapped, “Ma’am, are you carrying any illegal substances?”

“No, sir.” Selene remained polite. “Dogs just have a thing for me.”

“This unit is specially trained to detect contraband,” the agent barked.

“Oh, I don’t do drugs. At all. I don’t even like taking Tylenol,” she gushed, trying to keep her anxiety in check.

“In that case, you have nothing to worry about. If you’ll step over here for a moment so we can search your person and belongings to be sure.” The dog handler inclined their head in the direction of a cubicle set up to provide privacy for those pulled aside.

Holding in a sigh, Selene collected her belongings and resigned herself to being strip-searched and questioned. Hopefully it wouldn’t involve latex gloves and probing.

To her surprise, before she’d taken a step, a deep voice with a slight accent said, “That won’t be necessary. She’s with me.”

The agent scowled. “We’re supposed to thoroughly check over anyone that triggers the dogs.”

“Just mention in your report that the dog went to her because she had treats in her pocket.”

“She had treats,” muttered the handler.

Selene blinked, because she most certainly didn’t. However, whoever this guy was, he obviously had some clout since the man with the dog went off to inspect those farther down the line.

She glanced at the handsome man in the posh suit. “You didn’t have to do that. I’m not carrying any drugs.”

“I didn’t figure you were. However, no one wants to start their holiday molested and put through the wringer.”

Her lips twitched. “Don’t be so sure. It would have been the most action I’ve gotten in a while.”

Her riposte had him smiling, and damn, he certainly was attractive. “A lady with a sense of humor. I look forward to getting to know you better once we’re on board,” he said with a smile and a wink.

A shiver went through her. Maybe this cruise wouldn’t be so bad after all.

Might as well introduce herself. “I’m Selene.” She held out her hand.

He clasped it, his grip firm, if chillier than expected given the warm climate. “Dante.”

“As in The Inferno?” she quipped, having read the poem by Dante Alighieri while in college.

“Yes, as a matter of fact. My mother quite liked Dante’s poetry and named me after him.”

“My mother preferred gods and goddesses.”

“So you are Selene, deity of the moon.”

“Correct.” She cocked her head. “And you’re on this cruise?”

“I am.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“Because this doesn’t look like your type of crowd.” She waved a hand at the people waiting to check in for their voyage.

“And what type of crowd do I belong with?” he asked with an arched brow.

“Sorry. That came out wrong. It’s just, you’re in a nice suit, and well, the rest of us are dressed like the tropics puked on us.” She gestured to her white capris and flowered blouse.

The comment made him laugh. “While I’ll admit my wardrobe is not as flamboyant, I do enjoy a nice ocean cruise from time to time. It’s a change of pace from my daily life. What of you? Why are you going? Romantic getaway?”

“Goodness, no. I’m here because my family is hoping I’ll meet someone.” She rolled her eyes. “Only, the odds aren’t looking too good, given a good chunk of the passengers are around my mom’s age.”

“You don’t date older people?”

“There’s a few years older, and then there’s decades.”

“Age is but a number. I’d think that common interests and attraction would be more important,” he stated.

“This might sound rude, but I’d prefer to be with someone who won’t call my generation’s music noise and who doesn’t need to pop a pill for sexy times.”

His laughter brought more shivers to her body. He flashed white teeth, the front canines more pronounced than the rest as he said, “You are quite frank.”

“A fault of mine,” she chirped. “Probably why I’m still single.”

“More likely the men you’ve met have been idiots.”

“Are you here with your partner?” she asked.

“Nope. Single like you, but perhaps this cruise will change that.”

“You’re too pretty to not have a girlfriend,” she blurted out. Blame her racing pulse for being flustered.

“I could say the same of you. You are also very attractive.”

“I am”—she wasn’t about to be coy—“but I don’t get out often. When you live and work on a farm, it’s hard to meet people.”

“Whereas I am usually surrounded by those impressed by my wealth. It makes for less than authentic relationships.”

“You’re rich?” Again, her mouth ran away before her brain could stop it.

“Very,” his dry reply.

“And you’re on this cruise?” She glanced at the banner of hearts hung over the check-in desk. Tacky to the extreme.

“As are you.”

“Only because I can’t afford anything better. Shouldn’t you be on, like, one of those luxury yachts?”

“Surrounded by snobby elites?”

“As opposed to swinging grandmas and grandpas?” she countered.

Once more, his deep laugh emerged. “Please say you will join me this evening for a drink.”

“I don’t drink.”

“It doesn’t have to be alcohol.”

“I’d planned to stay in my room tonight and relax. It’s been a long day. Perhaps we can meet for breakfast when I’m refreshed.”

“Doubtful, as I’m more of a night person. Shall we say, dinner tomorrow?”

Dinner with a stranger? Her first impulse? Say no. But that would defeat the purpose of the cruise. “Sure. Why not.”

“The line’s moving,” he stated. To her surprise, he lifted her suitcase, and in doing so, she noticed his lack of one.

“Where’s your stuff?” she asked as he carried it by the handle rather than rolling it.

“I left it with the porter.”

“I’d hate that.”

“Why?”

“I just like knowing where my stuff has been.” She’d rather not have to wonder who might have opened her bag and touched her undergarments.

“What stateroom did they assign you?” he asked.

“Something on the seventh with a sea terrace.”

“I’m on the twelfth.”

“Those are the luxury suites with deluxe verandahs,” she commented, her eyes widening. Yeah, this guy had money. She’d seen those rooms on the cruise website and the price tag had blown her mind.

“Ah, no verandah. I’m in an interior room.”

“As in, no windows?” She shuddered.

His lips quirked. “A cruise is about spending time out and about.”

“Says you. I brought a few books to tackle.”

“And you don’t plan on taking them with you to a nice chair near the pool?”

“I’d rather read in peace and quiet.”

“What about your family’s decree you find a romantic partner?” Dante asked as a check-in agent called him up.

“I’m not thinking I’ll have much luck given the demographics,” she answered as she stepped up to the agent next to his and handed over her ticket and passport.

“Should I be hurt you’re not considering me?”

She blinked at Dante. “Um, no offense, but it’s quite obvious we’re not in the same league.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Fairly sure your suit costs more than my entire wardrobe.”

He glanced down. “What can I say? I like quality.”

“And I like stuff on sale,” she stated as the crew member handed her a bracelet that would give her access to her room plus the amenities included with her ticket.

“Why do I get the impression you are the type of woman that, on a date, would insist on paying for her portion?”

Her cheek dimpled. “Depends on the man I’m having dinner with.”

“Are you sure you won’t change your mind about joining me this evening?”

Tempting… but at the same time, there was something a little odd about Dante. Mainly his interest in her. The man oozed charm and wealth and had looks galore. Why would he be so focused on her? She might be decent looking, but they were obviously vastly different and not just in social status. It didn’t help he came across as a womanizer. What other kind of man flirted with a woman waiting in line? He’d soon forget about her once on board and got to pick from a wider assortment of ladies.

“Not tonight. Sorry.” She apologized, not because she truly regretted, but because it was the proper Canadian thing to do.

“Then dinner tomorrow for sure. Say seven p.m. in La Maisonette.”

“I don’t think my cruise pass will let me.” She’d paid for the basic meal package, meaning no reservations at the upscale restaurants.

“Just tell the maître d’ that you’re dining with Dante. They’ll allow you entry.”

“Bending the rules before we’ve even left shore?” she stated as they bypassed the embarkation photographer and scanned themselves through the covered gangway to board.

“Always.” He smiled, and if she were any other girl, it would have likely charmed the panties right off her. As it was, he certainly had her blood heating. Not good, as it had her wolf stirring.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at seven then.” Not entirely a lie. She might go, she might not. He’d more than likely forget about her by the time dinner rolled around.

“I shall count the hours. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some matters to attend. But it was a distinct pleasure meeting you, Selene.”

“Ditto,” she chirped.

As Selene stepped into the glitzy lobby of the ship, she parted ways with Dante, resisting the urge to look back. She wasn’t the type of woman who cared if a man checked her out. Usually.

This time, though, something about Dante had her more flushed than usual. Her heart raced, and she found herself inwardly grinning.

After all, who didn’t like a handsome rich man flirting with them?

It sure beat the couple across the hall from her, who leered as she let herself into her room.

True to her word, she unpacked, enjoyed a room service pizza, read her book, and didn’t emerge again until breakfast.

Chapter 2

Through the fiery caverns tumultuous seas we sail.

Dante eyed the change to the poem. It flowed nicely and seemed more apt than the original words to Inferno. Although, the seas had yet to toss them about. But his emotions were certainly aroused.

When he’d skulked about the port, he’d done so observing those boarding. He’d certainly not expected to meet the delightful Selene. A charming woman in her mid-twenties, with a trim figure, pert attitude, and a scent that had him salivating.

Despite his intrigue, he couldn’t forget his real reason for being there. The cruise wasn’t about pleasure but business, a reminder that didn’t ease his distraction. Especially since the lovely Selene had rejected his offer to meet for a drink. Unheard of. Usually, Dante only had to ask and people simply obeyed. But then again, Selene wasn’t like other folk. He could smell the special difference, hence why he’d intervened in the security area.

“Sir.” His assistant cleared his throat. “The passenger list, as requested.”

A smart and focused Dante would have told Renard to take the list away. Instead, Dante held out his hand for the printout. “Thank you, Rennie.”

“May I ask what you’re looking for?”

“I met a passenger.”

“That does happen on a cruise, sir,” his assistant’s dry retort.

“I’m aware. She’s different.”

“Oh. How so?” Rennie asked, entirely too casual. He’d been with Dante long enough to know it took much to pique his interest.

“Let’s just say she and I have some things in common.” Like the fact the humans aboard would arm themselves with pitchforks and torches if they found out who they sailed with.

“She’s a vampire?” Rennie couldn’t hide his shock.

“No. A lycan.” Almost as rare as his kind. Being eternally hunted had a tendency of causing that. Never mind the fact humans had most aspects about his species wrong. Kind of like they misunderstood werewolves.

“A wolf on board? I can see why you’re concerned. Do you want me to handle it?” Rennie often dealt with small threats on his own, despite knowing Dante could protect himself perfectly fine.

“She has no idea what I am.” Lycans could and did pass him in the street, never realizing Dante’s difference. It took a very fine nose to scent his state of being, let alone recognize what it meant.

“But you’re worried she’ll figure it out.”

“Not really. Even if she figures it out, so what? She won’t out me, not without worrying she’ll reveal herself.”

Rennie frowned. “Then why are you checking her out?” Asked because he could see Dante on his laptop doing a search.

“I’m curious about her. She claims she came alone.”

“Wait, you’re interested in her as a paramour?” Rennie gasped.

“She’s very attractive,” Dante stated as he found her name on the list and poked it. “There she is. Selene McMurray, deck seven, just as she said.” It was nice to know that she hadn’t lied, though he wouldn’t have blamed her for not wanting a stranger to know where she slept.

“Making her a commoner.” Rennie almost sneered saying it.

“So are you.”

“Not trying to bang you, sir.”

The riposted curved Dante’s lips. “Neither is she. She refused to meet me for a drink tonight.”

“The horror!” Rennie mocked. “Maybe she’s not into sausage.”

The term had him snorting. “Oh, she likes men, no doubt about that.” The pheromones she’d oozed during their encounter made that very clear.

“She’s married then.”

“Nope. Single and on this cruise to meet guys.”

“Then I don’t understand. Why did she say no? Is she meeting up with some girlfriends?”

“Apparently, she wanted to unpack and read.”

“Read!” Rennie blinked and laughed. “Rejected for a book. Guess you should have whammied her. Then again, you weren’t expecting her to say no. Don’t think that’s ever happened before.”

No, it didn’t, but even more astonishing… “I did try and persuade her after she first turned me down. It failed to have any effect.” A vampire, much like a Jedi, could play mind tricks. Although, the stronger the mind, the more effort it took. In Selene’s case, though, it didn’t matter how hard he pushed; she simply did not fall under his spell.

“She’s immune to vampire charm?” Rennie didn’t hide his astonishment.

“She is.”

“I didn’t know the lycans had that ability.”

“They don’t.” He’d encountered enough of them to know.

“Are you going to tell her what you are?”

“No.” He’d learned his lesson a long time ago. While many women romanticized the notion of a vampire, most couldn’t handle the reality of it. AKA his diet. Unlike some of the modern adaptations, he couldn’t drain animals alone to sustain himself. He needed human blood. That said, though, he still could partake and digest human food. It just didn’t provide the nutritional value he required. That, and he hated vegetables.

“Sounds like you’re planning to spend time with her.”

“She’s meeting me for dinner tomorrow.”

Rennie arched a brow. “Since when do you go on dinner dates?”

“Since she doesn’t drink.” A surprise. It was rare to find someone who didn’t.

“You do realize it’s going to look odd if you order your food rare with minimal side dishes.”

“Not these days. The carnivore movement is gaining momentum.”

“You seem very set on seeing this woman again.”

“I am.”

“Might I remind you, we came on this trip for a specific reason.”

“I can investigate while still indulging in my curiosity about Selene.”

Rennie sighed. “If you insist.”

“You’re awfully impertinent this evening,” Dante pointed out.

“Aren’t you the one always telling me to speak my mind?”

He had. “Sometimes you do that a little too well,” Dante grumbled.

His assistant grinned. “Only because you taught me how.”

Renard had been introduced to Dante at a young age, and he’d taken a shine to the spunky young lad who’d survived some horrific abuse before Dante rescued him. Dante had been after a meal, and he’d feasted on what should have been a childless couple, only to find Rennie locked in the basement. Chained to a wall, half-starved. When Dante removed him, he’d meant to drop him off at a police station. Instead, he’d brought the young boy home, had him educated, bathed, and then trained to be his assistant when Rennie grew to be a young man who refused to leave his side.

“I’m going to take a walk and familiarize myself with the ship.”

“No spying on the woman,” Rennie warned.

“Would I do that?”

“Yes,” the blunt reply. “There’s a difference between flirting and creeping. If you want this woman to like you, then you don’t want her to catch you playing Peeping Tom.”

“As if she’d catch me,” Dante scoffed.

“She’s lycan, meaning she’s got more acute senses, so don’t be stupid.” A pause. “Sir.”

“Impertinent. I don’t know why I pay you,” Dante groused as he slid on a woolen sweater. The evening air at sea could get cool.

“You pay me because I am awesome.”

“And not conceited one bit.”

“That’s priceless coming from the master.”

Dante shook his head as he opened the door. “It’s not conceited if it’s true.”

With that, Dante left his stateroom and stepped into the hallway. Some might find it odd that a luxurious suite existed without outdoor access. However, it was the safest way for him to enjoy the ship, and vampires did so love to cruise. An all-you-can-eat buffet at the fang tips.

Drunken passengers never remembered the guy who’d had a suckle on their neck or nipped an inner thigh. When they woke weak the next day, they assumed a hangover and not blood loss.

Dante strolled from his floor to the section of the ship with all the nighttime action. Music blasted, the pulsing beat monotonous even when the song changed. A brief moment in the first club, which encouraged dancing, showed a good-sized crowd, many of them with flushed cheeks and too-bright eyes.

Despite a good many patrons being of a more mature age, there still remained plenty in their twenties and thirties of both sexes. When it came to food, Dante didn’t have a gender preference. However, with sex? He was as straight as they came.

A stroll through the party area showed a few prospects, but no Selene. Had she truly gone to her room for the night and not just fed him that line so as to avoid him?

With Rennie’s chiding ringing in his ears, Dante stalked to the seventh, his pace slow and measured as he neared her door.

From across her room, a couple exited their chamber, the wife biting her lip. “I don’t think she’s interested, Harry.”

The corpulent fellow blustered, “Please. I saw how she looked at us. She’s hot to trot. Why else would she be on an adults-only cruise?”

“She doesn’t have any stickers on her door,” the woman pointed out, unlike theirs covered in pineapples and flamingoes and unicorns plus a few that were definitely meant to be provocative. Dante shook his head. If a guy ever ended up with an eggplant-looking dick, he should see a doctor. Although, women’s peaches were sweet.

“Can’t hurt to ask.” As the man lifted his fist to knock on Selene’s door, Dante pursed his lips. It wouldn’t do to be caught in the hall by Selene. She’d think him a creeper for sure. At the same time, he wondered if she would even reply.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

No one came to the door, and Harry, of the red-veined nose and heavy gut, huffed, “Guess she’s out partying. Come on, Mary. Let’s go get ourselves a drink.”

Harry lumbered off, and Mary followed, moving past Dante, who oozed a don’t-look vibe.

Once they left, he headed for Selene’s door. She’d gone out. Where? Could he pick up her trail?

A vampire had a decent sense of smell. He could pick up aromas, pheromones if you will, that others couldn’t. It allowed him to recognize a human versus other preternatural beings.

As he neared her door, he had trouble splitting Selene’s scent from all the others that passed through. Meaning either she’d not left, or she’d exited her room a while ago.

He stepped silently to her door and put an ear to it.

Light music played, and he heard a sigh. She remained in her room, but was she alone? For some reason, he had to know.

Dante could have knocked and had her ask how he knew where to find her. Or… He made his way to the far end of the hall, exiting and then emerging on a tiny section of deck at the aft of the ship. Stairs went up and down. He went over the railing, holding tight, mind you. Even he had no interest in landing in the cold dark ocean below. And, no, he couldn’t turn into a bat. A shame. Flying would have been a useful trick.

He slid his way along the outside of the railing, counting terrace doors until he reached one with a light that should be Selene’s. He hopped onto her balcony and clung to the shadowy partition that separated her outdoor space from the cabin alongside. She’d only partially drawn the drapes, allowing him to peek inside.

An all-alone Selene lay on the bed on her belly, reading a book. No glass of booze nearby, just a bottle of water and a bag of cheese puffs.

Hunh. He’d not seriously expected her to do exactly as she’d claimed. Who came on a cruise to stay in their room and read?

Apparently, this woman did.

Abruptly, she rolled and stretched before rising, her skimpy shorts revealing lean legs, her T-shirt clinging to her braless breasts. As she approached the sliding door, he silently cursed before flinging himself over the rail and quickly slipping onto the terrace next door. He stood and listened as she exited, heard her exhale, and then draw in a deep breath of night air.

But it was her murmur that excited.

“Even out here, it’s like I can still smell you.” She sighed. “Maybe I should have joined you for a drink.”

Yes, she should have.

“Bah. I’m a fool. Talking to myself about a guy who probably forgot me the moment we met.”

As if she could be so simply discarded.

“Question is, do I go to dinner tomorrow?”

Yes.

“I’ll feel like a fool if I show up and he’s surprised to see me.”

How could you think that?

“He’s way too pretty.”

Thank you.

“Probably better if I forget about him.”

Um, no.

“I don’t think my family meant for me to hook up with a womanizer.”

Yeah, I have no argument for that.

“Would it be so bad to let loose and have a little fun, though?”

You really should try it.

She inhaled deeply. “Why can’t I stop smelling his cologne?”

Shit. He’d forgotten about her sharp sense of smell.

The light came on in the room whose terrace he’d borrowed. He shot a glance at the gap in the curtain to see a couple entering, their voices muffled but clear enough he heard, “Join me outside for a nightcap?”

He had to leave. Now. But Selene remained on her terrace, and worse, leaning on the rail, she’d see him for sure if he climbed over.

Just in time, she returned to her room, and he swung over the rail and slid sideways a moment before the couple emerged.

He made it safely back inside the stairway, his mind full of Selene until he heard a raspy whisper from below.

“I can’t wait to ditch this job.”

“Fucking rich, entitled Westerners,” replied a heavily accented voice.

“Not for long,” cackled the other.

Those suspicious words reminded him why he’d come aboard.

With Selene in her room for the night, Dante decided to go find himself some supper—and answers.

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Mercenary Abduction

My Boyfriend Marks Trees

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Part of the A Moonstruck Mating series:
  • My Girlfriend is a Werewolf
  • My Boyfriend Marks Trees
  • My Boyfriend Bites
  • A Moonstruck Mating Books 1 – 3

For her, he’ll wear a leash.


Ares never planned on settling down, not with his secret. How can he explain why he turns furry on the full moon and likes to mark his territory? But he changes his mind when he meets Charlotte and her daughter at an outdoor market.

It’s Christmas time, and this single mom is just making ends meet however she is less than impressed when a handsome stranger tracks her down to share some holiday cheer. A good thing this tenacious wolf isn’t easily deterred. Ares sets out to win the heart of the woman who makes him want to howl.

Only, she’s not interested in a relationship.

Turns out Charlotte has her own secrets, and when her past comes hunting and threatening, Ares will do anything to keep them safe.
But when the snowflakes settle, will Charlotte be able to accept a man with wolfish charm?

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Published: 2024-11-28
Cover Artists:
Atra Luna's Book Cover and Logo Art
Genres:
fated mates, Holiday Romance, Holiday Romance, Paranormal Romance, Shapeshifter Romance, single mom, werewolf romance
Tags:
english
Excerpt:

Chapter 1

Skree!

The brown squirrel with a white streak on top of his head—which Ares and his siblings had nicknamed Skippy—had plenty to say about Ares sawing the tree.

So did his wolf.

One bite and it will be quiet.

His reply to his furry other half? You know how I feel about ingesting raw meat in this form.

I’ve seen how you eat your steak.

Difference is steak isn’t covered in hair and is delicious.

On that, at least they agreed.

“Sorry, little fellow, but this sucker is slated for the market,” Ares told Skippy. The entire field had been originally started by his dad more than two decades ago. When his father passed, Ares took over the planning and maintenance of the fir, spruce, and pine trees that people coveted for the holiday season.

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The worst part of the squirrel’s harangue? It didn’t even have a nest in that particular fir. None in the other three it freaked out about, either. It would seem Skippy had claimed the entire field as his own.

Ares crouched and continued sawing.

Grack. The agitated squirrel yelled before it dumped snow on Ares’ exposed neck.

“Bloody hell!” He rolled to his back and gave it a glare. The critter didn’t seem impressed, as it continued to harangue him.

Bullied by a rodent. The humiliation, his wolf lamented.

Honestly, more annoying than embarrassing. Ares bared his teeth and growled.

The squirrel proceeded to let loose a stream of pee, and Ares only barely managed to avoid getting drenched.

“Keep it up and I will eat you,” Ares warned. The squirrel gave him the critter equivalent of a “fuck you” and leaped to another tree, one better suited for the creature since it hadn’t yet reached the proper size for selling and Ares had no plans to take it down yet.

Once more, Ares crouched under the lowest boughs and finished cutting. Then, because there lurked a little boy inside him, he yelled, “Timber!” as it fell onto the frozen ground, puffing the thin layer of snow.

He got caught. His younger sister, Selene—who could sneak like nobody’s business—chirped, “For a second, I thought you might start singing that Timber song by Pitbull and Ke$ha.”

“Never. You know I don’t do that modern-pop shit,” he grumbled.

“Or Christmas music or anything with a fun rhythm,” his sister complained.

“I like the classics.” The classics being Kiss, Led Zeppelin, and AC/DC. He’d grown up listening to it because of his dad and found it more satisfying than anything put out today.

“You’re like an old man stuck in a twenty-seven-year-old’s body,” she said with a shake of her head.

“Not old, more like an enjoyer of the classics.”

“No wonder you’re still single. Maybe you should try hitting up the retirement homes. I’m sure someone there will appreciate your taste in music.”

“Ha. Ha. So funny. What’s up? Did you need something?”

“More like wondering if you need a hand at the market?” she asked.

“Depends. Are you going to complain it’s cold and wander off buying everything in sight while I do the work?”

Selene’s cheek dimpled as she smiled. “Probably. But I wanted to be polite and offer.”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just about done loading the truck, and the site is already prepped.”

“Sounds like Skippy is not happy with you,” Selene remarked as the squirrel dangled from a branch and shook a fist while chattering.

“Skippy needs to find another grove of trees to claim.”

Selene giggled. “I think it’s a game to him. Every year, you two have the same fight.”

They did. And every year his wolf wanted to eat Skippy. It should be noted, on the full moon, when he did run on four feet and in fur, his wolf didn’t come near Skippy’s field, nor did he eat squirrels, although he did like chasing them up trees.

“You and Mom ready for your trip?”

“Yes!” Selene clapped her mittened hands. “The countdown is on. You sure you don’t want to join us?”

“Nah, I’m good.” Ares had scored a last-minute cruise deal for his mom and sister that he informed them about early since it was their Christmas present.

“But you’ll be all alone for the holidays.” Selene’s perpetual smile drooped.

“Hardly alone. Athena will be around, and I’ve got an invite to spend Christmas Eve and Day with the Kennedys.” Athena’s new boyfriend, Derek, came with a set of grandparents that, while slightly crazy—and no he didn’t exaggerate, they had a full-on apocalypse-ready bunker and enough ammo to start a war—were actually pretty fun to be around.

Good treats, was his wolf’s addition.

“I’m a little jealous. Grams is probably going to have the best feast.” Selene rolled her eyes and smacked her lips. “Those sugar tarts she sent over were divine.”

“I wouldn’t know. You ate them all.”

“You snooze, you lose,” she sang.

“You ate all twelve before I even got home from work,” he complained.

“Oops. Anyhow, since you don’t want my help, I’m going to pop out for a bit. Got a few bunnies to deliver.” His sister raised rabbits both for chasing and selling to restaurants. Mom was the honey and pie queen, whereas Ares, who worked as a mechanic, spent his spare time crafting cheese and growing Christmas trees. Only Athena chose a job that didn’t involve the farm, working as a lab tech.

With a cheerful wave, Selene skipped off, a happy woman despite the recent trauma of being kidnapped by a mad doctor who wanted to announce to the world the fact they were werewolves—as in, all three siblings changed on the full moon into four-legged furry beasts.

A good thing Selene came out of it unscathed, or Ares would have found a way to kill the doctor a second time. Don’t mess with his family.

Ares twined the last tree before loading it with the others. He’d have to hustle. The market would be opening shortly. At least he didn’t have too far to go. Arnprior and the church hosting the holiday fair was just a short ride away from the family farm in Calabogie.

The parking area bustled with some vendors setting up outdoors, while others were inside the church with their tables. Ares had a section already roped off, and it didn’t take long to throw up his sign, Christmas Trees for Sale, with the pricing by height. Then he lay the bound trees against the sawhorses he’d set up the day before. In the past, Ares used to allow people to come and choose their own tree at the farm. However, there’d been too many incidents with idiots who didn’t listen to instructions and proved scary with an axe. Much better to provide them ready to go at the market. The quick and easy cash was for spoiling his mother and sisters. A little extra would come in handy as well, given Athena looked to be expecting a child with her firefighter boyfriend. Not that she’d announced it, but Ares smelled the change in her during their last moon run.

As Ares whirled from his leaning stack to grab another tree, he startled at the sight of a little girl eyeballing him, her cheeks rosy and framed by a woolen red hat. Her matching mittens clashed with her light blue snowsuit.

“Hi,” chirped the kid.

“Hey.”

“Your trees are squished,” she observed.

“They’ll fluff out nice once we undo the twine.”

The child cocked her head. “Mama says real trees are messy.”

“Sometimes, but they sure smell good.” Good enough he’d apparently pissed on them when he was little with no regard for the fact they sat in the living room. Drove his mom nuts, whereas dad always laughed and claimed, “Boy’s just marking his territory.”

“Greta, you better not be bugging that man,” a woman called out as she bustled over, her bright pink earmuffs holding back her dirty-blonde hair. She had smooth features, pink lips that matched her rosy cheeks, and bright brown eyes. Nice figure, too, the jeans hugging a curvy frame.

Mmm, she smells nice. His wolf approved.

“He has real trees, Mommy.” Greta pointed. “They’re squishy now, but he says they smell good and get fluffy. Can we have one?”

“We can’t get a tree this year, munchkin.”

The tyke’s lips turned down. “I know. ‘Cause we need food and not fri-vol-ussy things.”

Ares found himself tightening as the child inadvertently revealed the real reason they didn’t have one.

“One day, I’ll get you the biggest tree you ever saw,” the woman murmured as she crouched by the child.

“Okay.” Greta didn’t have a tantrum like some kids. She took it like a champ.

Mom leaned close to whisper, “I saw a snowman wandering.”

“Snowmen can’t walk,” snorted the kid.

“Well, this one is, and he has candy canes!”

“Oooh.” Greta glanced left and right before spotting the suited character. “I see him!” She bolted for the snowman with candy.

The woman rose. “Sorry if she disturbed you.”

“Nah, she was fine. Cute kid.”

Fine pup, wolf agreed.

“Precocious with no filter, you mean.”

His lips curved. “She is. She mentioned you guys don’t have a tree. Why don’t you take one, on the house?”

She eyed him, her expression suspicious at the offer. “I don’t need your charity.”

“Hardly charity. I already know I won’t sell all of these. Therefore, you taking one now saves me carting it back to my place.”

Her lips pursed. “While your offer is kind, I’m afraid I don’t have a way to get it to our place. But thank you.”

With that, the pretty woman turned, that sweet ass of hers mesmerizing—good enough to bite—and headed after her daughter.

Ares found himself glancing at the woman often as she strolled the Christmas market, not buying anything but managing to give her kid a fun afternoon that included face painting, a visit from Santa, and, of course, a fistful of candy canes. He even spotted her walking away, holding the tyke’s hand as they sang carols, not heading for a car but moving out of sight on foot. Probably lived in the area.

When Ares closed up, toting five trees back onto the trailer he’d used to haul them, he noticed a red mitten lying on the ground. A woolen one he recognized with a name stitched inside.

Greta Dawson.

The kid would need it with snow in the forecast and mom tight on dough.

With a tree over his shoulder, and the mitten in hand giving him a scent, he retraced their footsteps. He almost missed the turn onto a side street. His wolf didn’t, though.

They went that way.

He pivoted and kept strolling, wondering what he’d say. After all, she’d probably wonder how he found her. He couldn’t exactly say he had a super sense of smell. What would sound plausible, instead? It hit him then. He’d seen her filling out a giveaway ballot with the lady who knitted stuffed animals. With the last name on the mitten, he could have easily matched them up.

Excuse found just in time as his wolf huffed, Here.

The townhome, which probably had seen better years since it had been built fifty years ago, looked tidy compared to its neighbors. The walkway clear of snow and ice. A wreath, which had obviously been made by a child using colored construction paper, hung on the door. The front window glowed, highlighting the hand-drawn picture of Santa—with a toothy smile a wolf would envy—taped in it.

Ares knocked and stood waiting, slightly nervous. Blame the fact he’d never done anything so bold before, but he couldn’t help himself. He could claim he did a good deed returning the mitten, but in truth, he kind of wanted to see the kid’s mom again.

When the door flung open, the woman exclaimed, “What are you doing here?”

Ares held up the mitten. “I found this.”

Before the woman could reply, there was a blood-curdling scream from inside.

The woman turned and bolted inside the house.

Save the pup!

Ares didn’t think. He dumped the tree and followed.

Chapter 2

“What is it?” Charlotte yelled as she rushed to find her daughter. Greta stood on a kitchen chair and pointed.

“Ugly bug!”

“Seriously?” huffed Charlotte, only to recoil as she caught sight of it. The bug truly was a hideous thing with many legs and waving antennas. And it moved fast.

“Kill it!” screamed Greta. “It’s getting away.”

Charlotte hesitated. The idea of squishing it with her sock-covered foot had her cringing.

It scuttled in Charlotte’s direction, and she yelped before leaping onto a chair.

The bug knew it had them cornered and stopped between the chairs, wiggling all its nasty body parts.

Stomp. The Christmas tree man, who’d somehow managed to find her, took care of the bug, then apologized. “Sorry for barging in with my boots. I heard the kid freaking and didn’t think. Just kind of acted.”

Before Charlotte could order him out of her home, Greta literally threw herself at the man, who luckily caught her. Greta wrapped her legs around his torso and hugged him around the neck, crooning, “My hero!”

“Uh…” Tree Man stood there awkwardly, looking unsure of what to do.

“Greta, get down. You can’t just maul people. Remember, we talked about personal space,” Charlotte chided.

Her daughter leaned her head on his shoulder. “But he saved me and he smells good.”

“Greta!” She injected a warning tone.

Did munchkin listen? “He doesn’t mind, do you?” Greta turned her gazillion-watt gaze on him, and no surprise, he couldn’t escape the cuteness, as evidenced by the smile he returned to her.

“It’s fine. I’ve carried much heavier, and I’m always happy to rescue ladies in need.”

“Ladies.” Greta giggled. “I’m a little girl.”

“Yes, you are. And I think you forgot this.” He still held the red mitten, which Charlotte had thought lost since they arrived home with only one.

“Ooh. Thank you.” Greta snatched it and waved. “See, Mama, not lost.”

She rolled her eyes. “You got lucky. Now say thank you to the man and goodbye, as I’m sure he’s got somewhere else to be.”

“Does he have to go?” asked Greta, using her best pleading voice and big, big eyes.

“I wasn’t planning on intruding. Just delivering the mitten and one other thing.”

“What other thing?” Charlotte asked suspiciously.

“I brought you one of the leftover trees.”

Again, Charlotte had no time to reply because Greta squealed. “A tree! A real one! For me?”

“Yes, for you.” He laughed. “If you give me a second, I’ll bring it in.”

“I don’t know if you should,” Charlotte stiffly replied. “I don’t have anything for it.” Not a pot, or a stand, or even decorations.

“Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.” He winked at Greta. “You let me know where I’m putting it.”

Pretty much anywhere, seeing as how they lacked furniture, the love seat in the living room being the only thing of size. Their small television sat on a battered dresser she’d grabbed from the curb on garbage day. Charlotte kept meaning to paint it.

Greta bounced and clapped in the small entryway. “Oh, Mama. Look. A tree. A real one. It’s a Christmas miracle.”

While Charlotte hated charity, and the fact this stranger had somehow found them, she wasn’t about to crush her daughter’s happiness. Time enough to put this man in his place. And if he tried anything… She wore a switchblade on her beltloop for a reason.

A woman couldn’t be too careful. Having been a survivor of violence, and hating that helpless feeling, she’d taken self-defense classes. She also went on YouTube and studied how to fight with more than just her fists. Because if he ever found her, she needed every advantage she could get.

“Where am I putting it, little princess?” asked the man as he returned with a tree much bigger than the scraggly remnant she’d expected.

“Right there. In front of the window.” Greta pointed.

“A most excellent spot. Let me park it here for a second, though, while I grab the stand. I’ll be a few minutes. It’s in my truck parked at the church.”

He must have jogged there and back because it took him less than five minutes to arrive with the stand. It proved to be a metal basin placed within a cube built of two-by-fours.

“How fortuitous you had all those things in your truck,” Charlotte drawled, not hiding her suspicion he’d carefully plotted his invasion of her home.

“Some people like the idea of a tree but don’t have the stuff to put it up. So I always make sure I’ve got a few stands and buckets just in case,” he tossed over his shoulder as he planted the tree in the contraption. “Fill the basin with water to keep it lasting longer. If it gets dry, the needles will start falling.”

“I’ll get some water!” Greta ran to the kitchen.

It gave Charlotte a chance to ask questions. “Exactly how did you find us?” Because she was unlisted for a reason.

“Once I found the mitten, Carrie, the lady doing the giveaway for a stuffie, kindly let me sift through the ballots to see if I could match the name. Didn’t find a Greta Dawson, but there was a Charlotte Dawson.”

A plausible explanation and more trouble than she’d have expected a man to go through just to return a mitten. What did he really want?

Greta returned with a bowl full of water, which slopped despite her careful steps. Charlotte used her socks to mop the spill rather than leave him alone in the room with her daughter.

The tree man helped Greta pour it in. “Okay, stand back now.” He pulled a knife, and Charlotte stiffened. The guy grinned at Greta. “Ready for the fluff?”

“Yesss.” Greta rocked on her heels with excitement.

The knife slashed the twine, and while it wasn’t a window-smashing event like seen in movies, the tree definitely exploded, branches springing out, bulking the tree.

“Oooh.” Greta’s eyes went wide, and Charlotte wished she could have been the one to bring wonder to her face. They just couldn’t afford anything more than rent and food right now. Given she couldn’t afford daycare, she could only work while Greta went to school or when the elderly neighbor next door watched Greta in exchange for Charlotte cleaning her house. She’d been scrimping just to make sure she even had a present for Greta on Christmas morning.

When they’d fled, it had been with nothing to their name. Charlotte hadn’t dared to hit her place to pack a suitcase of clothes. She’d left her furniture and life behind. Hightailed it clear across the country, from the Rockies to Ontario. She might have gone farther, only she had limited cash left by that point. Only enough to put down a first and last months’ rent. Hence why they stayed on the outskirts of Ottawa, in a small town called Arnprior, where a person who wasn’t too picky could rent a place that only took two weeks of pay to cover. The other two weeks went to food, which had gotten astronomical in price, plus essentials like clothes for a growing kid and a small emergency fund in case they had to run again.

Greta chatted with the man as he showed her how to fluff the branches. It was when he asked for paper and scissors, which sent Greta scurrying, that Charlotte crossed her arms and said, “What are you doing?”

“Bringing joy?” he offered with a crooked grin.

“Seriously?” She arched a brow. “Exactly what is your game? I have nothing to give you.”

“Not asking for anything.”

“I’m not putting out either. So if you’re expecting any favors because of that”—she pointed to the tree—“then you’ll be disappointed.”

His lips pursed. “I’m not that kind of man. Listen, I know this might be hard to believe, but I genuinely just wanted to spread some happiness. It’s how I was raised.” He stood and held out his hand. “It occurs to me that we’ve never properly met. I’m Ares McMurray, and before you think I’m lying or a serial killer, here’s my card.” He handed over a black-embossed business card with the title Ares Artisanal Cheese, a website address, and a phone number.

“You make cheese?” She couldn’t help sounding a little incredulous.

“Yeah. The best you’ve ever had,” he boasted. “But since it’s not exactly bringing in the big bucks, I also work at a garage.”

“How do I know this is real?”

“Google it. I’m legit. If you want, you can call my mom and sisters too. They’ll vouch for me.”

Greta returned, waving paper and scissors, the paper technically already used; one side had flyer info on it. Charlotte’s work had printed too many for a sale they were having, and rather than dump them in the garbage, she’d brought them home for arts and crafts.

“I gots it!” Greta squealed. “What are you gonna do with it?”

“Well, this tree is kind of naked, little princess. What do you say we give it some snowflakes?”

“Yesss.” Greta plopped down and watched as Ares joined her, showing her how to fold the paper accordion-style before trimming bits and pieces and then expanding it with a “Ta-da!”

“Pretty.” Greta fluttered it to the tree and draped it. “Let’s make another.”

“Your turn.” He guided Greta without touching, which Charlotte appreciated, and soon her munchkin had her own snowflakes on the tree.

It led to Charlotte murmuring, “I think we have some popcorn we can string too.” Might as well join in since the tree was staying.

An hour later and the tree had paper snowflakes, macaroni and popcorn garland, and Greta’s prized knock-off Cinderella princess sitting at the very top, courtesy of Ares, who finagled a way for her to stay up there. It was just missing lights, and her work had those for five bucks a strand. She’d just skip buying meat for a few days.

Greta rubbed her tummy. “I’m hungry, Mama.”

The late afternoon had turned into dinnertime, and Charlotte gnawed her lower lip because the right thing to do would be to invite Ares to stay for dinner, only the leftover casserole was barely enough for two.

“Why don’t you wash up, munchkin, and Mama will fix something.”

As Greta skipped out of the room, Charlotte’s cheeks heated as she mumbled, “I’m sorry, but I haven’t done groceries and—”

“No need to apologize or explain. I know I’ve overstayed my welcome, or should I say, barging in? You’ve got a sweet kid.”

“I know.”

“Thanks for not poking me with your knife. I know I kind of took you by surprise.”

Her eyes widened. So he’d noticed it. “Thank you for not being a psychopath.”

His lips curved. “Just a weird dude who sells Christmas trees and makes cheese. I should get going now. Mom’s usually got dinner on the table by six-thirty, and it will take at least a half-hour to get home.”

“You live with your mom?” It came out a little judgey.

“Me and my baby sister. We don’t like Mom being alone, especially since the farm always needs something done. My older sister, Athena, moved out, but she comes by often.”

A man close to his family. Sweet and rare these days.

Greta skipped back in and saw Ares putting on his coat. “You’re leaving?” Her lips turned down.

“Yeah. But I had a fun time. Thanks for letting me help decorate your tree.”

“You’re welcome. When are you coming back?”

“I’m not sure, princess. I think that will depend on your mom.”

Charlotte hadn’t been interested in any man since the sour experience with Greta’s dad, so it surprised when she muttered, “Maybe he can come back for dinner another time.”

The smile he beamed her way almost impregnated her. Her ovaries certainly did a little jiggle. Jeezus, no way was he single. Or if he was, definitely a player.

“I would love to come back for a visit. ‘Til next time, little princess.”

Greta threw herself at his legs and squeezed. “Bye, Ares.”

Charlotte saw him to the door and murmured, “Have a good evening.”

“You too, Charly.”

Wait, Charly?

She was still blinking at the nickname as he crossed the street to a pickup truck. Stared at his ass in his snug jeans and wondered why a man like him would even be interested.

At twenty-five, with a six-year-old, and a few pounds too many—"you fat cunt, you disgust me”—she had no illusions about how men saw her. Maybe he really just was a nice guy trying to spread joy.

Not that it mattered. She’d most likely never see him again. Still, she didn’t toss his card but stuck it to the fridge. After all, she did love cheese.

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If you like My Boyfriend Marks Trees, you might be interested in:
Book Cover: Aramus

Aramus

Book Cover: My Boyfriend Bites

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As the Cog Turns

Dancer and the Ice Bear

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Book Cover: Dancer and the Ice Bear
Find a StoreAmazon/KindleGooglePlayBarnes and NobleApple BooksKobo
Part of the Furry United Coalition (FUC) series:
  • Bunny and the Bear
  • Swan and the Bear
  • Croc and the Fox
  • Lion and the Falcon
  • Doe and the Wolf
  • Ostrich and the ‘Roo
  • ‘Roo and the Angel
  • Panda and the Kitty
  • Dancer and the Ice Bear

Deck the horns for your holiday FUC.

Holy jingle bells, Krampus has taken Santa’s Village hostage and it’s up to Dancer to fly into action and save Christmas!

Alas, her nose doesn’t shine bright like that annoying braggart Rudolph, and on her way to secure aid, she gets lost in a blizzard. Luckily, she crash-lands outside the home of a former FUC soldier, a polar bear with the know-how and connections to mount a rescue. Only Nanook refuses to help because this grumpy Scrooge hates the holidays.

However, the ice bear changes his mind when Krampus strikes close to home, kidnapping all the children in town—including Nanook’s twin daughters. With a fire lit under his furry butt, Nanook is ready to roar to the rescue and recruits a furry-minded crew to help him oust Krampus from Santa’s Village.

They’ll need to shake a paw if they’re going to pull off a holiday miracle, especially Dancer, who faces the biggest challenge of all; melting an ice bear’s heart.

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Published: 2024-12-12
Cover Artists:
Dreams2Media
Genres:
Holiday Romance, Paranormal Romance, Romantic Comedy, Shapeshifter Romance
Tags:
english
Excerpt:

Chapter 1

A hungover Dancer woke and stretched, wondered why she was chilled, only to realize she’d passed out in a snowbank. Blame the pre-pre-pre-Christmas party, which had been quite the event. Candy cane shots, gingerbread rum cake, some brandied cherries. She’d partaken of it all, even as she knew she couldn’t hold her liquor. No surprise she ended up wasted. She had a faint recollection of dancing on some tables—and throwing up on a potted poinsettia. At least she’d turned down the elf that propositioned her.

Utterly blasted, she didn’t recall shifting into her reindeer shape or exiting the village. Thankfully, nothing ate her while she was passed out. Predators roamed outside Santa’s Village, and some loved the taste of reindeer meat.

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Dancer sat up and shook snow from her velvety antlers. Bad idea. Her head hurt, pounded like a child getting their first drum set under the tree. At her age, she should know better than to get sloshed, especially this close to Christmas. Santa expected all his reindeer to be in fit form, but in her defense, she’d been trying to mend her broken heart.

The bull she’d had her sights set on was engaged to another. It should be noted Rudolph never showed her the slightest interest, and yet she’d been hopeful that—as she was the only other reindeer misfit—they’d be naturally drawn to each other. Him with his glowing red nose, her with the horny nubs that didn’t disappear when she shifted. Her deformity meant she couldn’t date outside of, or even leave, the North Pole because she couldn’t be seen in public—unless she wanted to end up with her head mounted on someone’s wall or as a lab specimen dissected by curious humans.

Her inability to leave the North Pole shattered her dream of one day becoming a FUC agent and fighting crime. Some would say she should be happy she got to work for the jolliest man on Earth, but those people obviously had never worked for the big man. Santa trained them hard, had to since he wouldn’t lay off the jelly donuts. They’d had to reinforce the sled for the second time in as many years.

Thinking of her boss made her squint at the dark sky, the usual for this time of the year in the North Pole. They wouldn’t see sunlight again until March. According to the position of stars, morning fast approached, and if she didn’t get moving, she’d be late for sleigh training. Not a good idea, as it would ruin her bid to lead the team this year. Not that she stood a chance. Rudolph had the big guy wrapped around his ruby-red nose.

Dancer pushed herself up from the snow, swaying on her wobbly legs. Maybe she should send a message she couldn’t make training because she was sick. Sick with the candy cane flu.

A scream from inside the village made the nutcrackers in her head clack their jaws harder. Ow. Some people had zero consideration for the hungover.

“Run for your lives!” an elf yelled, his high-pitched voice carrying and adding to the pounding discomfort.

Probably a Yeti incursion. They liked to raid around Christmas, knowing the elves would be baking their favorite treat—fruit cake. The QUEEFS—Quick Uber Elite Elf Fighting Squad—would handle it. The combat-trained elves were the village defence against predators. Dancer had applied when her dream of being a FUC agent fell through, but not being an elf, she got rejected immediately.

Totally unfair.

Dancer took a moment to stretch her stiff limbs. At least she’d shifted before collapsing in the snowbank. Nothing worse than waking up with frostbite, especially given the remedy tasted so foul. Whoever came up with the idea of mixing cinnamon with bourbon, crème de menthe, and turkey broth should have their taste buds checked.

As she rose to her wobbly hoofs, more yelling occurred. The QUEEFS must have mustered to repel the Yeti.

As she went to totter around the mound of snow—sidestepping a pile of puke with chunks of cherries—a puffin came waddling past.

She bleated a querying note at his panic.

The puffin, known as Joe, paused, and his eyes widened at the sight of her.

“Run!” squeaked her friend, who could speak in his bird shape.

She huffed. As if she’d flee. It was just a Yeti. The QUEEFS would toss it some fruitcakes until it stopped smashing the gingerbread houses. Not exactly the best building material, but the elves preferred it over igloos.

“It’s not a Yeti,” Joe huffed, understanding her disdain. “The village is being attacked by Krampus.”

She uttered a scoffing snort.

“I swear it’s true. Someone calling themselves Krampus has arrived with an army. Santa’s workshop is under siege.”

Her muzzle dropped open in shock.

“He’s got wolverines and walrus rounding up everyone. Flee while you can.”

Flee? No way. This was her chance to fight. Dancer suddenly had visions of grandeur. If she saved Christmas, Santa would be so thankful he’d let her lead the sleigh instead of Rudolph.

Joe scurried off as something exploded in the village and sent up a cloud of multicolored smoke. The damage to the paint factory would slow down production in the New Year. Good thing the elves had already finished this year’s batch of toys.

Despite her pounding head, she had to act, even as she didn’t know what she could do. She’d never trained to fight. Then again, perhaps Joe misunderstood the situation. Puffins weren’t known for their intelligence. A peek at the situation seemed called for.

A quick trot brought her around the snowbank and in sight of the village.

A village under attack.

Elves ran to and fro, chased by wolverines who appeared to be herding them in the direction of Gingerbread Hall. Walrus stood guard at the village entrance, kind of a misnomer since there was no wall or fence around the place.

While the place appeared overrun, the QUEEFS were trying their best to repel. Armed with candy cane shooters, hot cocoa throwers, and licorice whips, they went after the invaders. However, a forty-pound elf was no match for a ridiculously heavy walrus.

The red and white striped missiles bounced off the hide of the big male that humped its way toward the squad, which splintered and bolted in different directions.

As she watched, another explosion rocked the snow underfoot, and a river of hot taffy began rolling through the icy lanes, coating everything in its path, from elf to walrus. It proved especially painful to listen to Freezo the Snowman scream, “I’m melting.”

It occurred to Dancer that she alone would not be enough to turn the tide. Walrus outweighed her and could be nasty with those goring tusks. Wolverines loved to tear out tendons to topple the four-legged. Saving the village would require help beyond that which the QUEEFS could provide, but the nearest FUC outpost was in Greenland, which meant crossing the Arctic Sea. She could swim, but she’d freeze, drown, or get eaten before she managed to traverse the five hundred-plus miles.

It would have been an easy trip if she could fly, only she couldn’t soar without Santa’s dust, which he kept locked away in a vault along with his bible of Good and Naughty Children.

However, she knew where to find a hidden stash. Her good friend Comet had managed to filch some so she could visit her boyfriend in Alert, Nunavut.

Dancer retreated from the village and trotted to the training field where Santa had an obstacle course set up for them to run their paces. Chimneys for them to leap over. Narrow roofs that required precise landing lest the sleigh fall off. Steep sloping tile. Asphalt surface. Woven grass. Every kind of roof dotted the field, as Santa took their training seriously.

The special dust had been tucked inside a chimney, and as Dancer pulled the baggie out with her teeth, she heard a grunt. A glance behind showed a walrus humping in her direction.

Jumping hollyberries, she had to speed up. Dancer tugged at the drawstring with her teeth, loosening it enough to see there weren’t many precious sprinkles left.

A loud whistle by the walrus brought some wolverines yipping.

Time to go. She upended the bag, and dust dumped out, landing on the hard ice. Dancer bent her head and sniffed the powder, feeling it tickle as it went up her nose. She would have liked to have snorted more, but those wily polar devils were coming at her fast.

Hopefully she’d inhaled enough. She began to run, her long legs stretching, her adrenaline sluggishly waking and erasing the last remnants of her hangover.

She didn’t have a proper runway to get up to speed. However, she did have motivation, as the racing wolverines got closer, slavering with excitement.

On Dancer and Dancer and Dancer and Dancer. She encouraged herself using Santa’s chant, wondering if any of her reindeer friends survived the attack. She almost stumbled at the thought she might be the only one left.

A chimney in her way led to her making a mighty leap. For a second, she remained aloft, but the powder hadn’t fully taken effect. She needed her blood coursing, moving the dust through her body. She huffed hotly as she strained, moving her legs rapidly.

Snap. The jaws that snapped much too close to her hindquarters startled her into jumping again, her legs still pedaling. This time she didn’t sink back down. She went up.

And up.

Only as she realized she flew did she glance down to see the wolverines converging under her, muzzles upturned in anticipation.

Not today, mongrels.

Dancer ran on air, heading for the Arctic Sea, racing as fast as she could, knowing the power would run out and she needed to reach land before that happened. She used the stars to guide her route, something she’d been taught but never had to do before. It was eerie flying by herself. Usually, she only ever took the skies with the team. But if Comet could do it to get laid, then so could she!

She might have made it to Greenland had a storm not suddenly developed. Dark clouds, heavy snow, whipping winds. She fought against the buffeting tempest, disoriented, tired, but determined.

Bad weather wasn’t new. She’d flown through worse. Only, she usually had Santa and Rudolph to guide her.

When the dust began to fail, she found herself losing altitude, sinking, sinking. The only reason she didn’t panic? The dark churning sea had changed to white, meaning she’d reached solid ground. She kept descending, readying to land. The storm chose to kick up a notch, rendering visibility to nil, which was how she ended up slamming into a mountain.

Chapter 2

Nanook heard the excited shrieks and grumbled. Why, oh why, wouldn’t his darling hellions nap anymore? There used to be a time when they’d all snuggle in a furry big pile, having the grandest slumbers. However, his daughters, having recently turned five, made it clear those days were done.

He rolled from his comfy chair to the floor on his four paws and gave a quick glance around. He could hear their excited chatter but didn’t see them inside the cave. Those precocious brats had gone outside into the nasty storm.

Before he could exit and give them a stern scolding, and see what had their fur in a fluff, they entered huffing and chuffing. Pure white and cuddly, their coats laced in snow, seeing their blatant disregard for his rules led him to shift and bellow, “What were you doing outside without me?” While he encouraged independence, he did require they remain within his sights, given the predators that would gladly take down a still-learning cub.

Siku shifted and clapped her hands as she squealed. “Dada! We found something.”

“Found what?”

The reply came from Sesi, who also transformed. “A woman with horns.”

He blinked, mostly because the statement made no sense. “Do you mean a caribou?” Herds of them inhabited Ellesmere Island.

“Yes and no. You have to help her. She was too heavy for us to lift.” Siku pointed to the doorway with its weighted leather flap to keep out most of the snow and cold drafts.

Obviously, there was a communication issue. While his girls were highly intelligent, their young age made them perceive the world differently than an adult. Still, their claim bore checking out.

“You stay here while I go have a look.”

He swapped back into his bear rather than get dressed. Maybe he could finish that nap before dinner.

Out into the storm he lumbered, the whipping snow reducing visibility and clinging to his fur, not that it bothered him. They didn’t call his kind ice bears for nothing.

He didn’t have to go far to find what had his daughters in a tizzy. He immediately spotted the woman lying in a heap in the snow.

A nude female to be exact, smelling of caribou, with antler nubs peeking from her hair.

He blinked, but the horns remained. Well damn. His daughters weren’t confused after all. But he had a dilemma. What to do with her? Leaving her outside, she’d die for sure. Bringing her inside meant dealing with a stranger. He didn’t like outsiders, or people in general.

In this scenario, he didn’t have a choice. He’d warm her up and set her on her way. He grabbed the female and heaved her over his shoulder. He brought her inside and dumped her naked butt on the wolf skin rug. She flopped onto her back, which meant noticing, despite her frigid pallor, the stranger had an attractive countenance and a fine form.

While not a gentlebear, he glanced away.

Siku clapped her hands. “She’s pretty. Can we keep her?”

“Yes, Dada, can we?” Sesi squealed.

He shifted and grabbed his robe before muttering, “No, we cannot keep her. She’s not a pet.”

“I know that,” Siku huffed, rolling her eyes. Where had she learned that? Probably her cousins whom they’d visited recently when they went to get supplies.

“She can be our mommy,” Sesi declared. She and her twin had been bugging him of late about how they didn’t have one. Apparently, they’d reached an age where they noticed such things. When they asked where their mother went, rather than say off sucking an elf’s dick, he’d muttered, She died. Seemed kinder than explaining the slag abandoned them without a second thought.

“You can’t just decide a random stranger is going to be your mother,” he pointed out, tossing a blanket over the stranger. His logic didn’t deter his stubborn girls.

“Yes, we can,” Siku insisted. “Rory got a new daddy. Rory says his mommy found him when she went to Alert for supplies.” Patty never met a man she didn’t want to bring home, although the most recent one had lasted longer than most at six months.

“How come you never brought home a mommy when you went to Alert?” added Sesi. Alert was the nearest town, if you could call a place with less than two hundred people a town. Ellesmere Island being remote with harsh seasons didn’t exactly boast a huge population. A few hundred people at most.

“Because we don’t need a mother. You have me, the best father ever.”

The girls eyed each other and used that secret twin connection they’d been born with to say in synchronization, “We want one.”

“This one,” Siku emphasized.

“The answer is no. It’s not up to the kids to choose a mommy.”

“Who chooses then?” Sesi cocked her head as she asked.

“Is there a store to find a mommy?” his other innocent daughter asked.

Was he really going to have to tell them about the bears and the bees? “You can’t buy a mommy, or a daddy for that matter.” Then, because they were opening his mouths to bombard him, he added, “What usually happens is a man and a woman will meet, and if they really like each other, they might decide to live together and be a family.”

“How can you meet someone when you don’t go anywhere?” Siku pointed out.

“And you hate everyone,” Sesi stated.

His girls knew him all too well, and they raised valid points, which he didn’t want to address, so he diverted their reasoning. “Has it occurred to you that maybe this woman doesn’t want to be a mommy?”

Again, the twins shared a secret look before saying, “Why wouldn’t she want us?”

Siku’s lower lip jutted. “Are you saying we’re not cute?”

“Are we not perfect?” Sesi’s eyes brimmed.

“Of course, you’re cute.” And excellent at using it to their advantage. “And perfect.” Perfectly capable of driving him up an iceberg.

“Then she will want to be our mommy and tuck us in and read us stories—”

“And bake cookies!” Sesi declared, interrupting her sister.

Nanook held in a sigh. He’d been doing that more and more often of late. It began when his cubs learned to speak and had been snowballing as their bright little minds grasped more than they should.

Who knew what they’d start demanding once they started school? They’d turned five, and while they didn’t have to attend kindergarten by law at that age, he knew they’d have to go to school eventually, which meant moving from his very remote cave to a place with people.

He disliked most people, but he loved his daughters, hence why they’d be relocating in the spring so they could start school in the fall. Not in Santa’s Village, though, even if they had an excellent scholastic program. He still couldn’t see or hear about anything Christmas without getting into a snarling rage.

“Tell you what. Once we move to the cape, I will hire a nanny who can bake and read stories.” A good compromise in his mind.

“A nanny is not a mommy,” Sesi stubbornly insisted.

“Close enough. Now enough of that kind of talk. I think she’s waking.”

Indeed, the woman stirred, rustling the fur blanket covering her lush frame.

A body he surprisingly admired. How long since he’d paid any attention to the opposite sex? He blamed his daughters’ big idea for his ogling. Making this random stranger their mommy, indeed. Never again. He’d sworn off relationships after the fiasco with Anjij.

The stranger opened her eyes, blinked at him, and murmured, “Please don’t eat me, Mr. Bear.” Her sense of smell must be working.

Siku giggled. “Dada doesn’t eat people. His favorite food is whales.”

“Which are blech.” Siku stuck out her tongue. “Burgers are better.”

“Er, what?” The woman blinked and sat up, holding the blanket to her chest as she glanced around. “Where am I?”

“In our house,” Sesi chirped.

“And your house is where, exactly?” Asked as she stood. The stranger put a hand to her head and swayed on her feet. “Oh, peppermint sticks. I must have crashed hard.”

“Were you driving a snowmobile?” Siku asked. “Uncle Arnie broke his. Aunt Kira said he crashed it ’cause he’s a dumb bear who rides too fast.”

“No, no snowmobile. I was flying,” the woman murmured.

“You’re a bird?” Sesi’s nose wrinkled, and Nanook understood her confusion. The woman’s scent was the distinct one of a caribou… but caribou didn’t fly. It hit him then. Oh, frozen shitsicle.

“You’re a reindeer!” Which, for the confused, was the European name for caribou. Why the difference, he couldn’t have said.

“I am. And you’re a polar bear. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way—"

“You’re one of them,” Nanook harrumphed, glaring at her.

“Excuse me?”

“One of the reindeer on his team,” he growled, avoiding the S word.

“I am.” Her chin lifted. “Dancer Lightfoot, second lead. And you are?”

“Not interested in dealing with you. Buh-bye.” He stood by the door and gave a scooting gesture.

She pursed her lips. “It’s still storming outside.”

“And?”

“While I’d love to accommodate your request, it would be foolish of me since I can’t get my bearings until it stops.”

A valid point. “Fine, you can stay until it dies down, but then I want you gone.”

“Goodness. Someone is a Grinch,” Dancer huffed.

“What’s a Grinch?” asked Sesi.

“Someone who hates Santa,” the woman replied.

“What’s a Santa?” was Siku’s next question.

“Wait, how do you not know who Santa is?” Dancer sounded shocked.

Nanook had to act fast. “Girls, if you don’t mind, I’d like a private chat with our guest.”

“But, Dada, we found her,” whined Sesi.

“Finders-keepers, remember?” Siku reminded.

“That doesn’t apply to people,” he snapped as he grabbed Dancer by the arm and dragged her from the main living area to his bedroom. Before he could explain she needed to keep her Santa nonsense to herself, Dancer exclaimed, “This is the nicest cave I’ve ever seen. It’s so big. How many rooms?”

“Five. Now about—”

“Five? It’s a veritable mansion. Did you carve it out of the mountain yourself?”

“Parts of it, yes. Now—”

“This is very impressive.” She dragged her fingers over the smooth wall, chiseled in his spare time.

The compliment puffed his chest but did nothing for his attitude. “Forget about my house. It isn’t important. You are not to mention Santa or anything Christmas to the girls.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because Christmas is banned in my home.”

“Banned?” She ogled him. “Isn’t that unfair to your daughters?”

She zeroed in on the guilt he kept stuffing down—deep down. Not everyone celebrated that dreaded holiday. His girls were doing just fine. “They can’t miss what they don’t know.”

“But what about their presents? I’ll bet they’re on Santa’s good list. You’re depriving them of—”

“Nothing. They have everything they could need. A roof over their head. Food for their bellies. Books to read.”

“What about toys?”

“They have some, but then again, who needs fabricated items when there’s a world outside to explore?”

“Glad you’re not my dad,” she muttered.

So was he because his body’s reaction to the very attractive reindeer would have been wildly inappropriate.

COLLAPSE
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Earth’s Magic : Collection One (Books 1-3)

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Part of the Earth's Magic series:
  • Earth’s Magic : Collection One (Books 1-3)
  • Earth’s Magic : Collection Two (Books 4- 6)
  • Earth’s Daughter
  • Earth’s Lair
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  • Earth’s Paladin
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Magical cupcakes, an adorable goat and evil gingerbread. All that and more in this paranormal romance bundle sure to make you smile.
The Earth’s Magic Collection One contains previously released titles:
•    Earth’s Daughter ~ When a necromancer starts wreaking havoc in town, Mindy’s magical cupcakes can’t keep up with demand. To combat the zombies, she teams up with Reiver, a mysterious and sexy hunter.
•    Earth’s Lair ~ When Annie find’s a secret door on her property, she’s determined to see what’s on the other side. However, her past has returned in a pair of sexy jeans, and now she has to fight not only her strange dreams, but an urge to give him a second chance.
•    Earth’s Elf  ~ Krampus has escaped and it’s up to Leif, the oversized elf, to capture him before he ruins Christmas. Bella, a woman connected to the holiday mess, doesn’t just bravely fend off an attack by gingerbread, she also knows how to jangle to his bells.
Lighthearted, paranormal fun in a world where anything can exist, and love always prevails.

Published: 2023-11-13
Cover Artists:
Alex with Addictive Covers (Website)
Genres:
Holiday Romance, magic and sorcery, Paranormal Romance, Romantic Comedy, Shapeshifter Romance, werewolf romance, Witch Romance
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Roxanne knows where she’d like to shove Cupid’s arrow.

Tired of cheating men and false promises of love, Roxanne launches a campaign against Cupid’s Dating Service. But it’s hard to smear a company when you’ve got the hots for the owner.

Maverick Eros is more than the CEO of CDS, he’s Cupid himself. However, forget the media images of a chubby diapered cherub because the god of love is actually six feet plus of yummy, muscled male.

When they meet, sparks fly–the lusty kind–but they both know from experience, love hurts. Can they learn to trust again?

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Part of the Bad Boy Inc. series:
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Can she melt his frozen heart?

Deliver a gift. A seemingly simple mission until Mathias runs into some complications. Namely a clumsy lady with an obsession for sweaters. A woman who knows how to heat his blood without even trying.

Snowmen aren’t the only ones with frozen hearts. Mathias, a career assassin, isn’t a man to give in to emotion. Feelings are messy, and a smart guy would run away. But that won’t get the job done. He needs to get closer.

Needs…her?

Blake knows she shouldn’t get involved with a client, but she’s lonely, it’s Christmas, and when he smiles a certain way, she throws caution to the wind.

After all, it’s only a holiday fling—until the guns come out.

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Dear Satan…

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Part of the Welcome to Hell series:
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Careful what you ask for, because Lucifer sees you when you’re sleeping. Spies when you’re awake. Knows if you’ve been nauseatingly good, so try to be bad for the devil’s sake.

Merry is determined to make Christmas special for her son. He hasn’t spoken or smiled since his father died, so she writes a letter hoping for a holiday miracle.
Dear Satan…
Her unfortunate error ensures her wish ends up in the wrong place. Worse? Satan answers her plea—after telling Santa where he can shove a candy cane. The devil knows just what Merry needs, and he has the perfect demon for the job.
Marduke’s mission is to deliver a hellhound puppy to a little boy, along with some tips on how to avoid getting eaten. What the devil’s kennel master doesn’t expect on this emasculating mission of kindness is Merry. A happy, optimistic woman despite all the strife in her life. It’s disgusting. Annoying. Tempting?
Usually, Marduke is all about destroying hopes and dreams—and letting his dogs pee on people while they’re down—but there’s something about Merry…

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Published: 2021-11-30
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Cursed Yuletide

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It will take a Yuletide miracle—and love—to break a witch’s curse.

Anders left the woman he loved to join the king’s army. On the way, a vicious storm forced him to seek shelter with a witch.

Don’t strike any bargains.

He was familiar with the stories. Thought he knew how to keep himself safe—how wrong he was. A curse left him howling at cruel fate.

Alva promised to wait for Anders. He’d asked her to be his wife, but before they could marry, he was determined to prove his worth. Years passed with no visit. No word. Hope faded, and realization set in. Anders was not coming back, but could she move on?

Guntar would like her to—with him. He’s been courting her since his return, but she is leery of giving her heart. A decision made more complicated when she is forced to deal with the witch of Briar Forest - and possibly ruining her chance for a happily ever after.

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Published: 2021-12-14
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Caribou’s Gift

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A Hero With Antlers and Attitude

Darn it, a man had his pride and a caribou a certain majestic presence, all of which could wind up ruined if he abased himself to play a simple-minded reindeer in the town’s Christmas parade.
No way was he wearing tinsel in his antlers.
Like heck was he sporting a red nose and pulling a sleigh.
But he changes his mind when he meets the woman in charge of the event.
Single mom, Crystal, is doing her best to offer her daughter the best Christmas ever. It’s their first in Kodiak Point, and she’s not about to let some vain jerk ruin it. If playing dirty is what it takes…then bring on the Christmas games.
As Crystal and Kyle butt heads, they discover more than goodwill this holiday season. They’re gifted with a second chance at love.

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Deck the Mane

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A slick lion is about to get sticky this holiday season when he meets his unlikely mate.

It’s almost Christmas, and a visiting lion prince is excited to go tree hunting with the Pride ladies. Only a mishap with a squirrel leaves the posh Felix snowed in with a honey-loving bear.

Edwina, owner of Honey Pine Farm, is a bear with a serious sweet tooth who prefers comfort over style. She’s counting down the days until she can head south for Christmas, only to get snowed in with a lion prince.

She isn’t impressed by his silky-soft mane, and he casts doubts on honey as a cure-all, yet as they spend time together, they discover they have more in common than expected—and a passion hotter than chestnuts roasting on a fire.

When Edwina is put in danger during a beehive heist, he’ll do anything—even place his trust in the squirrel that almost killed him—to help save the bear he loves.

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Published: 2022-11-30
Cover Artists:
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Genres:
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